After your cup has been emptied, how does it get Refilled? When the flaming fire on the inside evaporates the liquid before the cup is able to fill up, what do you do? Who do you turn to? I tried and I tried, but I was unable to fill my cup to its max. The burning and the emptiness inside of me made me a total wreck.

Whenever my cup reaches about the half-way point, it seems to evaporate, and then I am left with starting allover again. My ability seems to have no effect at all. I felt like I was in a dark pit with no way out. I began to think of how Joseph must have felt when he was thrown into the pit by his brothers.

So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the richly ornamented robe he
was wearing—and they took him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there
was no water in it.

Genesis 37:23–24 (niv)

The wall was crumbling around me. Who do I turn to? Where does my help come from? I tried to encourage myself. Then my cup reached the three-quarter point, but that flaming fire on the inside never fails. It seems to always burn up what was in my cup before the cup gets full. I was like an empty vessel. If you touched me too hard, I would break. If you pushed me, I would fall. I just wanted to be filled. I waited and waited for someone to put something in my vessel: some conversation, some advice, some encouragement, some instruction. Oh, how I longed to be filled.

I was falling with no strength to pick myself up; it had been a trying time of my life—the separation from my wife when God called her home. After we were joined together for so long and then separated, I felt like I’d lost every ounce of strength in my body.

Oh how I searched for that certain thing to fill the blank spot, but I was like a runaway train heading for disaster. I keep asking myself, “Am I the only one who feels like this?” I know many have looked at me on a daily basis as though everything was okay, but they did not know I was one step away from doing something bad to myself. Countless times when I would drive to work, trying to focus on the good points of my life, evil was present and speaking in my ear about conducting some evil actions.

So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to its insistent demands.

Romans 7:21 (ab)

The things I thought of doing and a few things I did were not so pleasant in the eyes of God. There is a saying that says, “Only God knows.” This saying exemplifies the way I felt for a long time. Only God knew I was an empty vessel and looking for help.

Let me take you back to 1984. It was my sister’s friend’s wedding; I was a young male who was fresh from the United States Army Basic Training. My sister, Heaseland, introduced me to one of her friends named Dale. Dale was attending Boys and Girls Height School in Brooklyn, New York. From that moment on, we were a match made in Heaven. We were together ever since. We had our share of ups and downs, but we stuck it out. We had two boys, and then we moved to Miami,
Florida, in 1995. Then we had one more boy. We were a family of five, and everything was okay for a while. We were active in the church, and I was striving to be a minister. But in 1994, Dale was diagnosed with lupus. Many doctors visits, hospital attendance, and medical bills began to take effect. After a while, there was no trace of the infirmity in her body. I credit that to the prayers of the righteous, the late Harriet Jones and the members of Holy Ghost Tabernacle Church, and also our family and friends who labored in prayer.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest
prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

James 5:16 (nlt)

This is your time: how valuable is a quiet moment with you.

Some people call it rest, some call it taking a five or ten, some even call it taking a nap, but when the rubber hits the road it’s really a quiet moment with you. Such a moment allows your body to get some comfort time.

Okay, you say it was God who blessed you with the working ability, but your struggle is taking a moment for you. If that’s the case with you, here are some helpful hints.


1: Never let someone else be the one to say when for you.

Others are helpful sometimes, but only you know when it’s time to say, this is my time to rest. You hold the key to your body being revived. You are human and not a battered bunny that could go on and on. Never allow anyone to influence you to work your body like a horse on the race track. Take the time you need to rest, your body deserves it.

2: Know when it’s time to rest all year round.

The season or the time of the year doesn’t dictate if you should rest or not. Your body signals is what triggers you to say “it’s time”. Successful people know when to stop at the red light and wait for a moment until the green comes on again before moving forward because if they run the red light, they are looking for an obvious accident. So when it comes to the laws for the body, if you pursue risks without rest, you are eminent to cause serious damage, which will affect how long you are able to pursue purpose.


3: Pursue to see purpose, and let not your purpose see you

Just like anything else done with passion and zeal until the very end, you must also be mindful of becomeing addicted to the point that you kick your moments of rest to the side. Because what will eventually happen is your passion will be on high, then your body will burnt out until you can’t go anymore. In other words, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. The ultimate purpose is to fulfill the will of God for you life, so be wise and make sure you don’t fall short due to weariness and exhaustion from not performing such a little task: Rest.

4: Practice relaxing

Many people find it difficult or impossible to stop on a dime what they are doing and take a rest. If it’s so difficult for you to do such a thing, work at it in increments (a little at a time). Don’t wait for the vacation time to get away on your secret hideaway. Control what you are doing by lessening your work load so you could get a period here and a period there, bit by bit, until your big moment comes, to shut the world out, and remain silent with you alone.

4: Give yourself a prize

Why work so hard, day and night, time after time and not reward you with a prize of rest. You need something to keep you going and going. You need energy, without it, your concept of what you are doing will fade away. Your motivation and drive to continue will not be at a level to bring great result.

I know you are probably saying that the more work you do, brings more productivity, but the truth of the matter is that productivity comes from the quiet moments when the mind body and soul is rested. What rest does is give you a chance to see and get understanding of what your true purpose is. Then, out comes the motivation and inspiration to go one more mile.

Motivation speaker/author Carl Mathis
Author of Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward.
Let Carl Mathis inspired you, go to his website http://www.carlmathis.com

How To Handle Emotions After A Spouse's Death

Losing a spouse is perhaps one of the most emotionally grueling experiences an adult can go through in their lifetime. The deafening emptiness of your home without your partner, the realization of dependency on your spouse, and the loss of everything that you once shared with – companionship, a friend, a person to turn to for advice - these are hard pills to swallow. For women, especially mothers, this is an unbelievably difficult change in their lives. Being suddenly left to raise the children alone and having to be the sole breadwinner for her now incomplete family is a hurdle many cannot fathom.

However, as you grieve, realize that this time in your life will not be forever. Things can be done to improve your life and to move you forward out of your grief. Allow yourself time to grieve and mourn the loss of your loved one, but once the tears start to become less, acknowledge the fact that it is time to move forward. According to “Life is What You Make It”, a book by Carl Mathis, this devastating tragedy can be the key and gateway to rebuilding an entirely new life, though it may not seem like so in the beginning. The power of positive thinking can do wonders in helping you to get out of your hole and can push you forward to begin your brand new life alone. Here are some ways to get you off the ground:

1.Understand that the pain will not easily go away. Do not be frustrated or fall into a deeper depression if you feel as if your grief is taking a long time. The loss of a spouse is a heavy burden and it will take time before you start to feel normal again. Think positively and know that this time will pass as well and eventually, you will feel better about life.

2.Acknowledge the power of choice. Do not feel guilty about realizing that you want to begin your new life. This means your time of grief is over. Think of the good things to come.

3.Do not think that you are forgetting your spouse. Just because your pain is slowly fading and you are starting to feel better, it doesn’t mean you are forgetting your spouse. Believe that they would have wanted you to be happy and fulfilled even when they are gone.

4.Channel your love and affection in other ways. Think positively and realize that you still have a lot of love to give. If you are looking for someone to care for, focus more attention on the children, or get a pet to take you through those solitary rough moments. Pets are great joy bringers, delivering comfort and happiness with just their mere presence. Not only that, believe that you can still find love, and that this is not the end of life for you as we know it.

5.Realize that death is just the beginning. Death is inevitable and by thinking positively, you’ll see what the good side of death is. It isn’t the end of life, but a mere beginning.

Employ some positive thinking to help get your through your situation. See the brighter side of things and not just what’s depressing and heartbreaking. There’s always a flipside and that is what you must realize.

Carl Mathis, author of Life is what you make it - seven steps to moving forward
For more from Carl go to http://www.carlmathios.com

Learning to Move Forward by Letting Go

Let’s face it: we all have negative or bad experiences in the past that we just cannot seem to get past. There are just certain things, that when remembered, always cause anxiety and anger to build up inside us. And we have to admit that sometimes we just don’t want to let go of these negative emotions and memories. Why? Do we want to feel like we’re the victim? Do we need to even the score before we let go?
The truth is, holding on to negative emotions, feelings, thoughts, or experiences drag us down. They drag us down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes, even physically. This mental and emotional distress doesn’t do us any good in life and can affect the way we do things or relate with other people. It can affect how we see our jobs, how we treat our friends, families, and new people who come into our lives. Holding on to past grudges and negativity is much like hiking. Picking up useless items along the way add to the weight you’re carrying and slow you down from reaching the top. That is why it is so important for us to let go of all the negativity, bad experiences, and depression that may have happened in the past, and eventually move forward.
So how does one move forward from all the past negativity? How can you let go and forget about all the difficult, negative experiences? The key in doing so is to train and condition your mind to focus on other things. Focus the goals you have, the things you want to achieve, and the positive things around you. Negative thoughts and feelings may be affecting you in ways you don’t even notice. Whenever you start to feel anger or depression that stems from past events, ask yourself: is this helping my current situation? Is this helping me move forward and achieve my goals? Am I gaining anything by thinking about this? Once you realize that you answer no to all these questions, tell yourself that you are letting go. Breathe and let go.
There is something so beautiful about the power or emotional healing and letting go of the past. Once you’ve trained your mind to focus only the good things and never to dwell on the bad, your outlook and attitude towards life will change – for the better. You’ll relate better to other people, have renewed energy and zest for life, and work with a passion and newfound determination. You’ll start to appreciate the great things you have in your life, and what else it has to offer. You’ll be happy and content, wherever you may be, because inside, you are at peace. Such an outlook and personality will lead you to achieve your goals and accomplish things better than before.

Motivation speaker/author Carl Mathis
Author of the life changing book, “Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward. Go to his website at http://www.carlmathis.com and get a FREE e-book and inspiration update. Or his blog at http://Christianwordsofencouragement.com