Living After the Death of a love one: 5 Stages.

Living After the Death of a love one: 5 Stages.

Losing someone close to you is one of the most emotionally grueling experiences a person can go through in a lifetime. The thought of you without the person in you life, can symbolically compared to a rollercoaster ride.
 The lost of a friend.
 The lost of a companionship.
 The lost of your spouse.
 The lost of a sibling.
 The lost of a child.
 The lost of a mother/father.
These are just a few of the people, when lost from your life, can make your life incomplete and had to comprehend.
As you grieve, however, you realize that this time in your life will not be forever. Things can be done to improve your life and to move you forward out of your grief.
Allow yourself time to grieve and mourn the loss of your loved one, but once the tears start to become less, acknowledge the fact that it is time to move forward. According to Life is What You Make It – Seven Steps to Moving Forward, a book by Carl Mathis, this devastating tragedy can be the key and gateway to rebuilding an entirely new life, though it may not seem like it in the beginning. The power of positive thinking can do wonders in helping you to get out of your hole and can push you forward to begin your brand new life alone. Here are some ways to get you off the ground:
1. Understand that the pain will not easily go away. Do not be frustrated or fall into a deeper depression if you feel as if your grief is taking a long time. The loss of a spouse is a heavy burden and it will take time before you start to feel normal again. Think positively and know that this time will pass as well and eventually, you will feel better about life.

2. Acknowledge the power of choice. Do not feel guilty about realizing that you want to begin your new life. This means your time of grief is over. Think of the good things to come.

3. Do not think that you are forgetting your spouse. Just because your pain is slowly fading and you are starting to feel better, it doesn’t mean you are forgetting your spouse. Believe that they would have wanted you to be happy and fulfilled even when they are gone.

4. Channel your love and affection in other ways. Think positively and realize that you still have a lot of love to give. If you are looking for someone to care for, focus more attention on the children, or get a pet to take you through those solitary rough moments. Pets are great joy bringers, delivering comfort and happiness with just their mere presence. Not only that, believe that you can still find love, and that this is not the end of life for you as we know it.

5. Realize that death is just the beginning. Death is inevitable and by thinking positively, you’ll see what the good side of death is. It isn’t the end of life but a mere beginning.

Employ some positive thinking to help get your through your situation. See the brighter side of things and not just what’s depressing and heartbreaking. There’s always a flipside and that is what you must realize.

Carl Mathis, author of Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward
For more from Carl go to http://www.carlmathis.com

My Lost and His Gain

In 2005, my life took a turn in a direction that I was not expecting. Something occurred that changed the course of my directions in my life in such a dramatic way, as a result, I had to make some adjustments to put me and my three sons lives back together again.

This dramatic change in my life brought much heartache and devastation to my entire family and made it extremely difficult for me to possess the strength to carry on in my life. Once in my life, I had a cup that was full of love, joy and happiness. But all that changed in a matter of years due to my wife slowly but gradually illness. I was in a very desperate, yet appeared to be lonely place in my life with no one to hold me up or comfort me during the times I needed it most. I hoped and prayed that someone, anyone would come to my rescue to relieve some of my pain and hardships. I waited for a very long time it seemed, but no one really showed up and that’s when I found out that life is truly what you make it as a person, and that no one else can make your life for you.

My life as I was living it was one that I inherited due to my choices and my actions in life. Although God will sometimes give us directions and even provide the means to accomplish a certain thing in life, in reality you are truly the only one that could bring it into fruition if you choose to receive and work at the things that needed to reach a certain plateau in your life.

To be continued:

Carl Mathis: author of Life is what you make it - Seven steps to moving forward
For more go to http://www.carlmathis.com

After your cup has been emptied, how does it get Refilled? When the flaming fire on the inside evaporates the liquid before the cup is able to fill up, what do you do? Who do you turn to? I tried and I tried, but I was unable to fill my cup to its max. The burning and the emptiness inside of me made me a total wreck.

Whenever my cup reaches about the half-way point, it seems to evaporate, and then I am left with starting allover again. My ability seems to have no effect at all. I felt like I was in a dark pit with no way out. I began to think of how Joseph must have felt when he was thrown into the pit by his brothers.

So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the richly ornamented robe he
was wearing—and they took him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there
was no water in it.

Genesis 37:23–24 (niv)

The wall was crumbling around me. Who do I turn to? Where does my help come from? I tried to encourage myself. Then my cup reached the three-quarter point, but that flaming fire on the inside never fails. It seems to always burn up what was in my cup before the cup gets full. I was like an empty vessel. If you touched me too hard, I would break. If you pushed me, I would fall. I just wanted to be filled. I waited and waited for someone to put something in my vessel: some conversation, some advice, some encouragement, some instruction. Oh, how I longed to be filled.

I was falling with no strength to pick myself up; it had been a trying time of my life—the separation from my wife when God called her home. After we were joined together for so long and then separated, I felt like I’d lost every ounce of strength in my body.

Oh how I searched for that certain thing to fill the blank spot, but I was like a runaway train heading for disaster. I keep asking myself, “Am I the only one who feels like this?” I know many have looked at me on a daily basis as though everything was okay, but they did not know I was one step away from doing something bad to myself. Countless times when I would drive to work, trying to focus on the good points of my life, evil was present and speaking in my ear about conducting some evil actions.

So I find it to be a law (rule of action of my being) that when I want to do what is right and good, evil is ever present with me and I am subject to its insistent demands.

Romans 7:21 (ab)

The things I thought of doing and a few things I did were not so pleasant in the eyes of God. There is a saying that says, “Only God knows.” This saying exemplifies the way I felt for a long time. Only God knew I was an empty vessel and looking for help.

Let me take you back to 1984. It was my sister’s friend’s wedding; I was a young male who was fresh from the United States Army Basic Training. My sister, Heaseland, introduced me to one of her friends named Dale. Dale was attending Boys and Girls Height School in Brooklyn, New York. From that moment on, we were a match made in Heaven. We were together ever since. We had our share of ups and downs, but we stuck it out. We had two boys, and then we moved to Miami,
Florida, in 1995. Then we had one more boy. We were a family of five, and everything was okay for a while. We were active in the church, and I was striving to be a minister. But in 1994, Dale was diagnosed with lupus. Many doctors visits, hospital attendance, and medical bills began to take effect. After a while, there was no trace of the infirmity in her body. I credit that to the prayers of the righteous, the late Harriet Jones and the members of Holy Ghost Tabernacle Church, and also our family and friends who labored in prayer.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest
prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

James 5:16 (nlt)