How To Handle Emotions After A Spouse's Death

Losing a spouse is perhaps one of the most emotionally grueling experiences an adult can go through in their lifetime. The deafening emptiness of your home without your partner, the realization of dependency on your spouse, and the loss of everything that you once shared with – companionship, a friend, a person to turn to for advice - these are hard pills to swallow. For women, especially mothers, this is an unbelievably difficult change in their lives. Being suddenly left to raise the children alone and having to be the sole breadwinner for her now incomplete family is a hurdle many cannot fathom.

However, as you grieve, realize that this time in your life will not be forever. Things can be done to improve your life and to move you forward out of your grief. Allow yourself time to grieve and mourn the loss of your loved one, but once the tears start to become less, acknowledge the fact that it is time to move forward. According to “Life is What You Make It”, a book by Carl Mathis, this devastating tragedy can be the key and gateway to rebuilding an entirely new life, though it may not seem like so in the beginning. The power of positive thinking can do wonders in helping you to get out of your hole and can push you forward to begin your brand new life alone. Here are some ways to get you off the ground:

1.Understand that the pain will not easily go away. Do not be frustrated or fall into a deeper depression if you feel as if your grief is taking a long time. The loss of a spouse is a heavy burden and it will take time before you start to feel normal again. Think positively and know that this time will pass as well and eventually, you will feel better about life.

2.Acknowledge the power of choice. Do not feel guilty about realizing that you want to begin your new life. This means your time of grief is over. Think of the good things to come.

3.Do not think that you are forgetting your spouse. Just because your pain is slowly fading and you are starting to feel better, it doesn’t mean you are forgetting your spouse. Believe that they would have wanted you to be happy and fulfilled even when they are gone.

4.Channel your love and affection in other ways. Think positively and realize that you still have a lot of love to give. If you are looking for someone to care for, focus more attention on the children, or get a pet to take you through those solitary rough moments. Pets are great joy bringers, delivering comfort and happiness with just their mere presence. Not only that, believe that you can still find love, and that this is not the end of life for you as we know it.

5.Realize that death is just the beginning. Death is inevitable and by thinking positively, you’ll see what the good side of death is. It isn’t the end of life, but a mere beginning.

Employ some positive thinking to help get your through your situation. See the brighter side of things and not just what’s depressing and heartbreaking. There’s always a flipside and that is what you must realize.

Carl Mathis, author of Life is what you make it - seven steps to moving forward
For more from Carl go to http://www.carlmathios.com

Learning to Move Forward by Letting Go

Let’s face it: we all have negative or bad experiences in the past that we just cannot seem to get past. There are just certain things, that when remembered, always cause anxiety and anger to build up inside us. And we have to admit that sometimes we just don’t want to let go of these negative emotions and memories. Why? Do we want to feel like we’re the victim? Do we need to even the score before we let go?
The truth is, holding on to negative emotions, feelings, thoughts, or experiences drag us down. They drag us down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes, even physically. This mental and emotional distress doesn’t do us any good in life and can affect the way we do things or relate with other people. It can affect how we see our jobs, how we treat our friends, families, and new people who come into our lives. Holding on to past grudges and negativity is much like hiking. Picking up useless items along the way add to the weight you’re carrying and slow you down from reaching the top. That is why it is so important for us to let go of all the negativity, bad experiences, and depression that may have happened in the past, and eventually move forward.
So how does one move forward from all the past negativity? How can you let go and forget about all the difficult, negative experiences? The key in doing so is to train and condition your mind to focus on other things. Focus the goals you have, the things you want to achieve, and the positive things around you. Negative thoughts and feelings may be affecting you in ways you don’t even notice. Whenever you start to feel anger or depression that stems from past events, ask yourself: is this helping my current situation? Is this helping me move forward and achieve my goals? Am I gaining anything by thinking about this? Once you realize that you answer no to all these questions, tell yourself that you are letting go. Breathe and let go.
There is something so beautiful about the power or emotional healing and letting go of the past. Once you’ve trained your mind to focus only the good things and never to dwell on the bad, your outlook and attitude towards life will change – for the better. You’ll relate better to other people, have renewed energy and zest for life, and work with a passion and newfound determination. You’ll start to appreciate the great things you have in your life, and what else it has to offer. You’ll be happy and content, wherever you may be, because inside, you are at peace. Such an outlook and personality will lead you to achieve your goals and accomplish things better than before.

Motivation speaker/author Carl Mathis
Author of the life changing book, “Life is what you make it – seven steps to moving forward. Go to his website at http://www.carlmathis.com and get a FREE e-book and inspiration update. Or his blog at http://Christianwordsofencouragement.com